Holiday Traditions (after divorce)

The thing that worked the best for me (following my divorce) was the realization that the holidays belong to me and that I can take charge of them and redesign them to match my family. 

I decided to rethink the whole process regarding our old holiday traditions. So, I sent all the children the same letter well ahead of the holidays letting them know that the holidays were coming and I did not ever want them to feel conflicted. 

I mentioned that I was going to celebrate the holidays in a new way and they were invited to do this non-traditional celebration and of course they were welcomed for the traditional celebration at my home as well. This let them make their plans accordingly and it helped them not feel guilty or sad. 

To protect myself from the fact that they might all make alternate plans, I started volunteering at a local shelter on the actual day of Thanksgiving and Christmas. What has now happened is that my kids come home and instead of asking, "When is Christmas dinner?" they ask, "When do we work?" 

It has become such a wonderful tradition that even their friends from the community join in with us as well.